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Them Sony folks are swell. I arrived home from the Philadelphia Film Festival today to find a large FedEx box from the lovely people at Sony awaiting my return. Inside? A healthy stack of Layer Cake sway ... we're talking posters, the novel by JJ Connolly and a batch of Layer Cake wool hats from FCUK. Nice. So now I'm going to give them all away.

Here's how we're going to do it: Layer Cake director Matthew Vaughn rose to prominence as a producer on Guy Ritchie's films, yes? And the pair had - apparently - a fairly siginificant falling out after Ritchie became Mr. Ciccone and evidentally lost his mind and went off to make vanity projects with his wife. We're all aware by now that Swept Away was fantastically bad - potentially even career endingly bad. But was it as bad as it could have been? I'm sure you lot can come up with much worse films for Guy and Madge to make together, so that's the contest. Pitch me a film, the worst film you can possibly imagine, for Guy Ritchie to direct with Madonna in a lead role. The worse your film is, the more stuff you win.

Entries must be received here by May 13th - the film's local release date, natch - and this one's open to all comers, so fire away! And do show Layer Cake a bit of love by checking out the official site here.