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I'm sorry, I'm tempted to make my own post about this film...
Ahem ... Allow me:

Easily ~and I mean EASILY~ the worst film I've seen in 5 years.

I am baffled .... ~BAFFLED~ ... how someone .. ~ANYONE~ can take a story with MILLIONS of dollars, take a solidly reputable cast -- and make a story about, arguably, the best conqueror to ever LIVE... and yet, make something so unbelievably TERRIBLE..
An absolute disgrace. I couldn't believe it.

First off, this 2 hour & 53 minute movie has 18 minutes of fighting. Spilt between just 2 battles. Neither of which Alexander clearly wins.

The rest is BRUTALLY bad dialogue, directed TERRIBLY - repeating the same melodramatic purpose (or nothing at all) over and Over and OVER and ~OVER~..
It wasn't Battlefield Earth: "This-movie-sucks-so-sit-down-and-watch-this-because-you'll-die-laughing-at-these-people-who-thought-this-was-good" type of a bad movie. ... It's simply the most boring, God-forsaken, slapped together incoherent piece of sh*t I've seen in half a decade. Utterly horrible.

[At this point, my friend mentioned that now she wants to see it because it sounds so bad...]
So I say........

Keep in mind, it's just plain BORING.. - although there is REALLY bad "parts" -- it's the movie as a whole that just sucks utterly. -- Try not to cringe at overly melodramatic lines like: "You can run.. but you can't run far enough!!!!" and fingernail-on-the-blackboard shrieks of "Noooo!!!" at all of the lamest moments.

Try to ignore the following:
-- that Colin Farrel's mom is Angelina Jolie and is basically the same age as him.
-- that a lot of the statues look liked they were made by a "The Learning Annex" paper mache class --- That the dialogue must've been written by high school students with a handy thesaurus...
-- how many times they resort to "glances" to "the-pretty-boy-in-the-corner-with-no-name" again - just to try and kill even more time... -

.....So........ Much.......... Talking........ [Punching Own Crotch...]

Folks, it's a cliche to say, but you'll never get these 3 hours back. Seriously.. I can't BELIEVE they made something so HORRIDLY boring. It blows my mind.

If the gods frown on you and you end up sitting through Alexander, try this: When Alexander is in the mountains and he stops marching and asks his friend/commander/whoever-he-was:
"Where has our/the eagle gone?"
Proclaim: "The peasants ate it!" You'll get a nice big laugh cuz by that time, everyone will be so bored, they'll really appreciate it -- and be shocked that someone was listening to the film.

To wrap the film up, when the big, glittery, slow-motion mystic eagle swoops towards the camera and the credits come up -- you'll be able to scream "Thank GOD!!!!" -- I did.

Kids, this is a glorious Symphony of Complete Garbage.. It is beyond my grasp how the story of the greatest warrior to walk the earth could have been told with such flimsy abandon. A mockery of celluloid of sheer disgraceful proportions.

Thank you.

So, you liked it then?