ASSUME THE POSITION! HOT FUZZ GIVEAWAY

one night I got pulled over, I didn't know for what reason. I told the officer I'd had a hard day at work as I handed him my driver's license. He looked at my license and started laughing. He said, "How do you spell that middle name?"

I sighed, "Alphonsine"

He handed back my license, still laughing, "With a name like that you've got enough to deal with without a ticket" He let me go.

That is the only time I've liked having that awful name.

I was driving home at about midnight and stopped at a left turn red light that stays red for eternity. I was tired of waiting so I just turned because I figured no cops would be around so late. Idiot that I was as I was turning I could see that a police officer was right next to me the whole time.
He turned after me and I lived right around the corner so I tried to speed up and loose him but of course that didn't happen.
I played it up really girly and said that the light took so long and the neighborhood was dangerous so I just really wanted to get home. When asked about the speeding away from him I told him I saw some show about dangerous police impersonators.
I got away with no ticket.